So!  Anything happen to you guys while we were on vacation?  We had some stuff happen.  See, Parker Thomas decided to cash in his chips and head to Los Angeles.  Yep.  He's gonna try his hand at being an awesome Hollywood guy, like his hero Kato Kaelin.  Into his big ol' shoes steps big ol' Barry Thickk...no stranger to mornings here at the Bear, Barry started out back in 2001 as "Barry the Bitch Boy" and has been with us off-and-on ever since.

Yay!  Here's your chance to play Internet Superstar "Musician" Tila Tequila dodging debris from an angry Juggalo crowd!

Here's Turner's latest attempt at "viral" video, even though he has no idea what that means.

Yep.  Here y'go!  Make your own ridiculous dancing guy!

So, yeah...bricks, bottles, feces...she got hit with all that before being allegedly pursued back to her trailer by 2,000 rabid white-trash kids.  Good times.

Yes, sixteen years ago.  That's how long ago this pic was taken.  Turner's second professional radio gig was for WYNG, 105.3 a country station in Evansville, IN.

Conclusion: Turner's an old motherf*cker.

Who is he?  Where is he going? Is that a strange motorcycle or a totally rad scooter?  And, really...shorts?  What kind of assassin wears shorts?  All we know for sure is that he's lethal.  And he's out there.

Thanks, Chive!  BTW, the best photo in here (according to Turner) is the shot of Jewel Staite, who played Kaylee on the defunct geek-loved show "Firefly."  She's hot, but it's more fun to type "defunct."